Andrea's Adventures - The Other Comparison Trap

About a year ago, I posted a blog in this group that I’d written about comparing ourselves to others.  It was called The Comparison Trap and it’s about how we tend to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to other people. Most of us have done that despite the fact it really is an exercise in futility!  Here’s the link if you wanna check it out:

The Comparison Trap

Today’s blog however is similar but different.  This blog is about how we often fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to……..ourselves!  That’s right!  I hear this often from the women in my friendship circle, the women in the various groups I'm in and from the women I work with.  Gosh, we can be so hard on ourselves, can’t we?  Not only comparing ourselves to other people but also comparing ourselves to what we ‘used to be’.  We are such harsh critics of us! When it comes to training, exercising, being active and recovery, we berate ourselves for not being as supple/strong/fast/powerful as we once were.  

I'm not talking about comparing ourselves to yesterday.  Of course, if we are training for something, we want to improve on yesterday. and last week.  We want to see progress in our current venture.  Three weeks from now, we want to see that the work we've been putting in is showing improvements.  That sort of comparison is the stuff that motivates us to keep going on our current journey.  In this context we are comparing ourselves now to ourselves now which is a whole different thing.

As much as being critical and giving ourselves honest feedback about ourselves is essential for personal growth, there are times when it can be counter-productive.  Let me explain.

How often have you heard others say (or maybe the words have come out of your own mouth) “I used to be able to do (insert activity) but I can’t these days” or “I wish I could do what I did in my 30s” or “last year I could do….. but look at me now, I’ve let everything go”   Sound familiar?  I hear this a lot and yes, I’ve been guilty of it too. 

Comparing ourselves to a previous version of ourselves usually isn’t all that helpful.  Sure, it's important that we  look back at those times and carry the lessons we learned from then into our future.  This is the beauty of the passing of time and the wisdom that comes with it.  I read something the other day that resonated; "Your young self will take care of your old self".  I like that!  It's true that the lessons of our past may set us up for better choices or different expectations next time.   But expecting ourselves to be exactly that same person now is not going to happen.  We may now be a little slower or take a little longer to recover but this is who we are now and that is what matters. It's this version of us NOW that we need to focus on.  We can absolutely train to become a stronger more resilient and badass version of who we are right now.  We may even feel that we’ve achieved more this time around but in different ways than our previous selves did!

What I'm talking about here is comparing ourselves to who we perceive ourselves to have been a year ago or 5, 10 or 30 years ago. A version of us that is no longer who we are today.  That person is relevant and it is you but it is just one of the incarnations of you throughout your life.

We may wistfully reflect on previous achievements and yearn for them again. Absolutely nothing wrong with having that goal!  But our journey this time around will not be the same. We might be starting from a different start point.  It may be harder.  It might take longer.  The reason for our goal this time may be very different to our ‘why’ last time.  We may be older, we may now have other priorities in our lives, we may be sick or injured, we may be living with stresses that are impacting our lives.  We may still have that goal but also have other goals meaning we need to spread our focus.   We are different to the person we were before.  So don’t compare ‘you now’ to ‘you then’

You may be a woman going through the menopause transition. If so, with the drop in oestrogen, this is a time in your life where so much of your physiology is impacted such as your bones, muscles, connective tissue, body composition and sleep along with a range of other things.  Keeping this in mind, it’s no wonder you may not be feeling like you can do what you did in your youth or even 5 years ago!  But this is not a bad thing.  Not at all!  It’s just different. And you can still slay it out there!

If you were to compare yourself to previous versions of  you and then expect the same journey and same outcome, you may be very disappointed.  And that may lead you to give up on your goal.  But remember, no two journeys are ever the same and if you keep this in mind, you can enjoy a whole new experience - it might be even better this time around! 

As a personal example, only a couple of years ago, I could run faster than I can now (I'm not fooling anyone, as a runner, I suck!).  So yeah, I was still slow a couple of years ago, but a fair bit faster than I am today. My 5km parkrun time then was 6 minutes faster than I’m doing now. Still not setting any land speed records but I was doing okay for me.   Back then, when I did that quicker time, I remember that I almost vomited from the exertion.  I also couldn’t walk for days. I had pain. I hated it. I wanted to like running, I really did.  But it hated me and I hated it.  So I stopped.  

But when I decided to start running again recently, I had a whole new approach to it.  I’m a little older now, running isn’t my main ‘thing’ anymore and these days I have a totally different reason for running.  I wanted to get faster back then but now I just want to run to enjoy the feeling, without getting breathless and to recover well. And to do a few events here and there along with parkrun on Saturday mornings. I knew that my approach last time didn’t work.  So I needed to challenge that notion I had in my head about having to get back to doing the same pace I could do two years ago.  That sort of comparison was not going to be helpful at all!  If I repeated the same mistakes I made previously just so I could achieve that 5km time I achieved back then, I'd have the same result.  Pain and vomiting.  So I made a conscious decision to stop comparing myself to the faster version of who I was a couple of years ago.   

So this is now me who isn’t comparing myself to old me.  This time around, I have backed off both the intensity and the expectations of myself.  And I’m actually loving it this time!  Yes, I’m slower but I’m running further and actually enjoying the ride!  This is me NOW. A different me to two years ago.  And although my Garmin stats tell me I’m ‘worse’, I know I’m better because of how I feel in this now version of me. It’s been a mindset shift but I gotta tell you, it’s truly liberating!  And guess what?  No more vomiting and pain.  Who'd've thunk it!

So sure, absolutely bask in all those past versions of you! There’s no denying, you were awesome and worthy of celebration. But also, bask in this current version of you.  You NOW. You NOW is just as awesome! It might not feel the same - it might be harder or slower - but it’s even better because you’re living the best version of who you are right now. And who you are NOW is not to be berated.  Current you is worthy of all the accolades!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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Andrea is a coach with Summit Strength, who  specialise in helping hikers get strong and pain-free for their adventures. 

At the age of 54, she discovered a real passion for hiking. But she also discovered just how limiting physical fitness and pain can be on the trail.

After signing up to one of the Summit Strength signature programs, she discovered just how much of a difference the right training can make to a hiker's enjoyment and comfort on their adventures. She knows that the journey isn't always easy and 'life' can sometimes impact on our training goals. She shares her insights and experiences with us in her blog articles.

These days, as an Online Adventure Coach with Summit Strength, she helps hikers all around the world get fit, strong  and resilient for their adventures.​



Want to get fit, strong and resilient for your hiking adventures?
 
Check out the Online Summit Program: https://www.summitstrength.com.au/online.html

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